178k Day 23

What up shaw city,

Hello again, I am camping for the 3rd time in a row and loving life as well. I think  I am developing bipolar disorder (kidding) This trip is indescribable, at least for my writing abilities. Today I started out totally exhausted and literally stared at the top of the tent for 15 minutes thinking about why I am doing this to gain motivation. Mornings are tough...I got on the bike and just entered into a monologue. I talked to myself about the trip and how the next 7 days will be the hardest for sure. I headed off making okay time and enjoying my music. I started to get really tired and than just about burst into tears...This ride is so much bigger than me now, although I am one ultimately making the calls as to whether I continue or not its really already been decided, at least from my point of view. I battled onward making meager progress and met up with road side assistance ( mom and dad). Michael joined in and cheered me up but I could just tell I was near the end of the rope. I was exhausted and not recovering properly after efforts. The day went on and we laughed and joked. Eventually we met up with the car at 97km in. It was aproaching 4 pm and I was not making good time. My mom and I had a conversation that went like this "Adam you're getting in the car at Wawa and we are driving into the park."no" Adam  you're too tired and you can't get run down like this". "Mom, I have been on the road for 23 days, I am finishing this thing my way" and with that I shot off onto the highway, I was pissed off, not at her (love da' mom) but at the day. I am working so hard and I know that it's only going to get harder. My mentality totally changed in the next 5km. It's time to stop messing around basically. I am a warrior. That sounds silly but basically I go to war with my my body and nature every day. I leave the camp site/sleeping area at 10am and finnish at 7pm for the day. The days are so long I could probably write a book on each one. I have this new drive now, I cant explain it unfortunately but I look a this thing now like a battle. Its so hard, but I am stronger. I get knocked down everyday but I get back up and punch back. When the going gets impossible I start throwing everything I have and dig so deep, deeper than I thought I could. No one understands my suffering, but you can all appreciate it.  The mountain taught me that I can push myself until my heart stops beating and my legs stop pumping. That is really the only thing that scares me anymore (that and dying, but they are the same thing) I know how strong my mind is and how far I will go to do this thing. I am not afraid of actually failing to reach Queens, I am afraid of what state I'd be in if I were to throw in the towel. I never, ever want to get there. Back to the day...I told Michael to focus and start team time trialing with me. I suddenly felt extremely strong and welcomed the pain in my body because I knew I would overcome it. I blasted along at 40km\h  while Michael went 30 on his pulls. We covered a great distance and Michael was exhausted after an hour and 20. He put the bike on the car and I shoved food into my body. I still had 58km of hills waiting for me. I charged up the climbs suffering tons but I didn't care. Like I said, I can no longer describe this ride as it should be told. It's too challenging(?) I don't even know if thats the right word haha. The reason why I say this is because what I am writing doesn't really make sense.  Who welcomes pain???? haha but that's what's happening inside my head. It was just me and the road, I bike and biked and climbed and climbed and I watched Thor and Lance pump up and down with emense power. I wonder what my max wattage is now... My quads have grown 4 inches at least. The hills never ended but I kept on going until the sun started to disappear. The computer read 178km and my dad came up the highway to pick me up. There was still 33km left until the campsite and it was getting pretty dark. I am going back to the same spot tomorrow though where he picked me up. Tomorrow is full of hills and going to be a really, really hard day. I am no longer afraid of being in pain  for 7 plus hours, there are only 7 days left..thats only 49 hours of riding! After the ride I went swimming in lake Superior while the sunset. The water was freezing but I loved it and frolicked like a baby dolphin.   The sunset was beautiful and I was thankful for being able to have such a great experience. I met a great family and enjoyed a beer while conversing like a normal person. In 7 days I am going to be launched into a totally new world. I seem to thrive on change though and I'am not too concerned about making friends....If any of you are reading this....hello. It's bed time now and sleep is everything  recovery wise. Tomorrow may be terrible or it may be great. The future is so unpredictable its ridiculus, I cant even make an educated prediction.

ps thanks Austin for the msg, Austy is attending UBC next year. He is smart, single and ready to mingle! Just watch out for dragons..till tomorrow!

  concrete warrier

Awaga l