169km, the hardest day in recent memory....I came out on top.

Today, like most days, I went through a huge mental change as the hours go by. I started out pretty strong and declined till I was reduced to a ghost and then clawed back to the living and powered through till the end. I don't have much time but I will try to cover the key moments. I started off by myself and biked the 30km back to campsite. By the time I reached the site I was done. I lay down on the grass feeling dejected and told mom and dad how much I hated this ride. It makes me feel so terrible everyday. The day is done and I am still not very fond of it. Only 6 days to go but holy it's going to be hard to make it. I felt like quitting today..that's how done I was. I am no longer doing this for any personal achievement. Now it's for the kids with cancer, the people in the next 5 years that will be diagnosed with this disease. I hope the funds I raise will give them the gift of life. That's why I have been doing this all along. Michael crashed into me today at 30km\h while I was stopped getting directions. My seat slammed into my back and now all the muscles have tightened up. The pain and suffering I feel now is different than anything I have ever felt. My body is pretty much done..I need a rest day so badly but I can't take one. I honestly don't know if I will make it on time now. I am starting to lose my strength...I am so tired writing this I am just shoving food into my mouth and praying tomorrow will be better. It's no longer one day at a time, it's one hour at a time. I climbed forever today. After the crash I ended up in the car just sitting and staring at a tree totally drained and could barely handle sitting in spandex let alone biking for another 69km. I drained a bottle of Coke and headed off to the worst hills in northern Ontario. I finished the day after 8pm in the dark with my dad. I feel like the life is being sucked out of me and I am just a walking body. I have been fatigued for 22 days so that would make sense. Today's achievment...I have biked 3,653km in 23 days. the tour de France riders ride the same amount in 26 days..that would explain why I am so tired. No one said this ride would be easy, and to be completly honest It was relativly easy until now. Sure I had tough days and was tired all the time but it was never terrible all the time. For the last 3 days it has been terrible all the time haha. I am not trying to whine and complain for sympathy. I am just explaining my position so everyone understands what I am going through. I need to go to bed and have another big day tomorrow. Wish me luck

Goodnight